Mehitobel Wilson: writer, reader, chronic curmudgeon.

Tomboy bombshell cowgirl; lover of funk, attracted to roadsides.

Besotted with spots.

Friend to sleaze.

Admirer of filthy films, fleshy steaks, Hong Kong rap, new felt and pocket-knocking 8-balls; prefers 10 gallons of hat and 4 fingers of Jack.

Procrastination here breeds urgency there. Urgency begets sharper fiction. The dream: hone it to a splinter, and sink it deep.

So I'm here.

Dog Blog (or, not a Cosmo girl)

I've been dead beat from taking care of the Eike dog. Housetraining, don't-bite, don't-jump, sit GOODGIRL!, down GOODGIRL!, please take the happy happy paw out of my mouth, etc. But, lord, she's cool.



Today at work I watched the K9 units next door - a black/red German Shepherd Dog and a dark Malinois - work some. I was smug, because my Eike's at least as cool.

The other night, I went out to play pool, and was in the mood for a drink other than beer. I knew this bar had shit gimlets, shit whiskey sours, and no margaritas, so all limey drinks were out - so Tony just asked the bartender to make me "something cold, but not sweet." And he gave me... a Cosmopolitan. Anyone that's read "Growing Out of It" can see the irony here - I'm turning 30 in a month(ish) and was about to drink a Cosmopolitan while out with my punk friends. Worse: one of them (I'm the broke one) offered to buy me a drink, and I asked for a Pabst, and he said, in all sincerity, "No, really, get whatever you want, I see you had some martini thing there, don't let me bring you down." Yai. No, really, I'd prefer a good 6 PBRs to reset to pre-cosmo Beldom.

The secret: I had no idea what one was when I wrote that story. It just sounded snotty. I hadn't known they were served in martini glasses and didn't have ice. I'll have to check the story and see if I mentioned ice - I think I did. Now that I know what they are, they're even snottier. Did I like it? Yeah, it was fine, but I was talking to a drag queen that I've idolized for years, because she can do multiple backflips in a full-tuck g-string and outrageously high heels. I was almost grateful for my sissybitch drink then. Made me feel approximately half as feminine as she was, which is a hell of a lot more than I deserve to feel.

But, the further irony is, I made a tattoo appointment that very day. I've been happy with my spots forever, but finally found the artwork I'd lost, oh, twelve years ago, that I'd always wanted as my first tattoo.

There's a dog involved in the tattoo. More precisely, it's a tattoo of a dog. This is purely coincidence. I'm not getting inked to commemorate the arrival of the Eike.

It's official: I'm going to Horrorfind, August 15-17th or something like that. Before doing that, though, I'll go to bed. Many times. Now's one of them.


posted by Mehitobel Wilson at 1:55 AM

Hot Dog!

Dogs galore:

1. My German Shepherd puppy comes home on Saturday. DOG!

2. Twelve years ago I lost the design for the first tattoo I ever wanted. I finally found it again, and yes, it's still as cool as I remembered, and yes, my right arm has been reserved for it all this time. And yes, it's a dog. DOG!

3. Last year I took a little time off work on the 4th of July (we didn't have the day off) so I could watch the Nathan's hot dog eating contest, because I'm a huge fan of Takeru Kobayashi. This year, I did have the day off, and despite my firm plans to watch the contest, I overslept by about nine hours. The only other time I've missed Koby on TV was the (dammit) time he battled the bear - but he lost that, which may have broken my heart, though I really like bears too. This year, he won, hurray. I was late to work today, though, because a show about eating contests came on very late last night, so I HAD to watch it (Kobayashi or no Kobayashi, I love the eating contests) - and the damn show ended even later than it started. Glad I waited til the end, though, because my pretty little brain-eater did indeed make an appearance, eating... DOGS!

4. A while ago, I found a beer even cheaper than PBR - Red Dog, $5.50 for a 12-pack - and switched to that. (Besides, the gas station by my house doesn't sell PBR.) New rule: if any of you ever catch me attempting to buy Red Dog, stop me. This stuff is poison. Poison. Tiny amounts of it make me sick as a... DOG! A red(headed) dog.

(Note that, as usual, the most important point takes the fewest words.)

posted by Mehitobel Wilson at 11:03 AM

Woof

I'm fixated right now on my impending dog ownership. I'm doing major dog-readying for the house and yard, budgeting for shots and heartworm meds and worrying about how teething's going to go and whether or not he'll try to teethe on my Hazelcat, etc.

The Currydawg is my parents' watchdog/hunter deterrent. My impending dog - DOG, not "dawg," in this case - will live with me.

The Dog is going to change my life. I'm equally nervous & excited.

(My folks keep reminding me to relax, that getting & training a dog is supposed to be fun, not yet another source of anxiety for the Human Neurosis. I'm sure I'll be fine once Dog is here and everything's underway, but right now, they've told me to stop reading, stop researching, stop planning, and just sit tight. Stop reading? Yowch.)

Deadlines: the pins/needles bit didn't work out as I'd hoped, but worked out even better than that. Then, I turned around and sold to A Walk on the Dark Side. Now, I have a little bit of breathing room before the next story is due, which is good, because the one I just finished is garbage.

My only worry now is that the South will wash away before dog-day...


posted by Mehitobel Wilson at 5:07 PM

Woof

I'm fixated right now on my impending dog ownership. I'm doing major dog-readying for the house and yard, budgeting for shots and heartworm meds and worrying about how teething's going to go and whether or not he'll try to teethe on my Hazelcat, etc.

The Currydawg is my parents' watchdog/hunter deterrent. My impending dog - DOG, not "dawg," in this case - will be my pride. (Not that Hazel's not, but she's more my secret than my pride, seeing how she buries herself under my blankets when she hears someone other than me enter the house.)

The Dog is going to change my life. I'm equally nervous & excited.

Deadlines: the pins/needles bit didn't work out as I'd hoped, but worked out even better than that. Then, I turned around and sold to A Walk on the Dark Side. Now, I have a little bit of breathing room before the next story is due, which is good, because the one I just finished is garbage.

My only worry now is that the South will wash away before dog-day...


posted by Mehitobel Wilson at 5:04 PM