I have been working on worldbuilding and plotting a fantasy novel, with an eye toward a series. I’m really, really excited about it. It’s almost overwhelming, as I’ve never written a novel before, much less one of this scope, but the most overwhelming part is really how much is piling into my head.
For years, when strapped into The Office Job, I did everything I could to quash ideas. I drank. I took sleeping pills. I drowned out my thoughts with audiobooks while I was trying to fall asleep. I could not allow my mind the freedom to imagine because I had no time to actually write any of it down, and because I had to go to sleep so I could go back to the office every day and shave another piece off my soul.
So, when I settled into writing full-time, having ideas at all took some doing. I needed a long recovery period to undo all the de-imagination training I’d done on my brain. All the roadblocks, all the times I’d grit my teeth and tell myself to just stop thinking, had done damage.